"It's a classroom on a boat. Maybe it's a school for fish."
-Professor Nat Fortune, Physics
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"If any of you are evil geniuses, please dis-enroll from the class now."
Professors Garfield and Henle, Logic 100
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"We're in the uterus now!"
Dr. Jaffie, Women's Medical Issues.
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"Al Gore has two main problems in his campaign. The first is Bill Clinton. The second is Al Gore."
-Mark Lendler, GOV 208
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"Washington had a hard time with fractions."
R. Jackson Wilson, HST 266, on the Founding Father's lesser known problems.
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"The library is your enemy."
R. Jackson Wilson, HST 275
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"Eight is an even number and nine is an odd number. Does that make sense? Is anyone still confused?"
-Professor Libby Wheatley, Sociology 201: Evaluating Information
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"Her arms will be full of roses and people will congratulate her on her sprightly, pixie-like manner."
-Professor Ernest Benz, History 255: 20th Century European Thought, on the winner of the Female Gymnastics in the Olympics.
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"I'm glad I'm not an ostrich!"
- Professor Monteserrate in Bio 111 Lab, describing the size of an ostrich egg as compared to a porokaryotic cell.
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"A little hokey, but not as bad as anything you'll see in genetics."
-Professor Marcotrigiano, Biology 202, on a film about careers in horticulture.
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$$$ for College